What Is Domestic Violence?
People often think of domestic violence as physical abuse. Physical abuse does include shoving, slapping, choking, kicking, using weapons, and murder. Domestic violence also includes many more behaviors, such as sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and economic abuse.
The term "batterer" often has very negative connotations and is typically defined as someone who repeatedly physically abuses their partner. In fact, many people who have come to moMENtum report that they have not been physically abusive, but have been quite emotionally, verbally or psychologically abusive. Despite the fact that these forms of abuse are not physical in nature, we challenge group members to recognize that they are still harmful and in fact can destroy relationships.
Group Therapy Objectives
- Men coming to moMENtum are asked to recognize how they have chosen such behavior as a pattern in their relationships and how those choices harm others.
- moMENtum teaches that domestic violence is a learned behavior, not a disease or a sickness.
- moMENtum supports grassroots and institutional efforts to stop partner violence, sexual assault and child abuse.
- moMENtum recognizes that other oppressive life circumstances such as racism, poverty and homophobia create a climate that contributes to partner violence.
If You Are An Abuser:
- Get help to end your violent behavior. Hurting the people you love will cost you their trust as well as your own self-respect. You may loose your loved ones permanently. No one likes to be violent or to get hurt.
- Realize that you can change. Others have gone through this and found ways to stop their violent behavior. Their lives and relationships with those they love have gotten better.
- When you come into treatment, be honest with the group about your history of violence. Tell the group leader that your violent behaviors are the ones you want to change. Don’t wait until a judge requires you to go to treatment.
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- Provide confidential environment for recovery
- Understand and break through denial then reduce shame
- Understand domestic violence as a learned behavior
- Identify familial violence and explore root cause of current behavior
- Develop a safety plan
- Help men to become more responsible parents
- Work through couple ship and family issues
- Examine dependency issues
- Resolve early childhood abuse
- Develop problem solving skills